Ninth Teaspoon - Hope - A Tool of Endurance
I remember reading an excerpt from a Buddhist based text that mentioned how hope was not the best use of our energy. Granted, this is how I interpreted what was being said. I had my moment of reflection thinking, “hope is bad?” I had to think further, as my mind tried to grasp how hope wasn’t always ideal.. There are people with tattoos of hope written on their bodies. I have a Japanese metal art piece in my living room that says “hope” (or at least I think it says that!). There are bumper stickers with “Peace, Love, & Hope.” So how can hope be bad?
Upon further reflection, I began to break down really what hope is and what it does. When someone is in the mindset of hope, they are not in the present moment. When they hope, their attention goes to the future. The focus of many practices including yoga and Buddhist traditions is the value of the present moment. In other words, the point of power is in the present. But what if the present moment sucks? What if you are in the middle of a break up, or grieving the loss of a love one, or you are currently ill….oh I can go on and on of life circumstances that simply stink, and that we would rather be anywhere but here. So we begin to hope. We begin to hope that this will pass. We begin to hope for a more positive outcome. Who can blame anyone for doing this when life is just crappy in the present moment?
Reflecting even more, I started to realize something about hope. Hope is an endurance tool. I thought about Margaret Brown, otherwise known as the Unsinkable Molly Brown (*quick note, she never went by the name Molly - it was given to her by others…but I digress) who was an inspiration when the Titanic was going down.. Margaret was in a lifeboat with others when the captain of their lifeboat began to let his fears get the better of him. He was giving up, but Margaret did not accept his despairing thoughts. She even threaten to throw him overboard if he continued in this matter. Everyone on the boat followed Margaret’s leadership. She instilled hope in them that they would be rescued. Did Margaret really know they would be rescued? No, but she kept hope, and believed they would. In the end, the outcome turned out what she hoped it to be.
Okay - this is where we pause. Yay, the outcome turned out what Margaret hoped it would be, and everyone was happy. But here is the danger of hope: what happens if the outcome that you hoped it would be does not happen? Well then, now you are in despair. Careful here. In yoga it is called aparigraha, or “non-attachment',” where we let go of our desires. If we attach ourselves to the outcomes, we risk of putting limitations on ourselves about the experience we are having. I know, I am getting really philosophical here - stay with me.
You can have an outcome to focus on, but I encourage you to not attach yourself to the outcome. The outcome will be what it will be. As the Buddhist say, life is filled with suffering. Though we would love not to suffer, it is indeed part of life. Therefore, as my brother, Kurt, had taught me when I was in a despairing time of my life, he would say to “hold onto the unshakable faith that there is meaning in this.” For example, I hoped my marriage would work out and found myself getting a painful divorce. I trusted what my brother said. I hoped that this would pass, and though outcomes did not go as I hoped it would, I feel I have grown and learned in ways I couldn’t have without this experience.
In summary, feel free to use hope as an endurance tool through the hard times, let go of any attachment to the outcomes, and hold onto the unshakeable faith that whatever happens (even if you can’t make sense of it) that it is somehow working towards your greatest and highest good.