Fourth Teaspoon - Self-Care = Self-Love

Have you ever gone to the dentist for a cleaning and the hygienist asks, “do you floss regularly?” You say to them through your bleeding gums, “yesh” (not “yes” because there is cotton and an air sucker thing in your mouth that prohibits you from talking normally). The hygienist smiles and doesn’t say anything, because they know you are lying! Your gums wouldn’t be bleeding so badly if they were healthy due to you flossing! And now you have tartar on your tooth. Uh oh, this means the hygienist is going to have to work extra hard to get it off your tooth, and here is something else - your tooth may feel sensitive afterwards!

Here is something that I learned about tarter. I remember asking my hygienist about tarter. She told me that tartar serves to keep the tooth warm, all the while corroding the tooth. It gives the illusion of protection, but in the end, it will ultimately destroy the tooth. Now, when the tarter is chipped off, the tooth feels raw, exposed, sensitive. It takes a moment for the tooth to calm down in its healthier environment. The tooth can now be healthy. We still need to be vigilant through brushing and flossing, as to not let the tartar build up again. So you can see why so many people avoid going to the dentist. They don't want to feel the pain. And yet so many people continue to not floss, when this self-care behavior can help avoid tarter build up. Why? It is easy to fall out of the habit of self-care, but it is necessary if one is to live a life that is true to self love.

Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun, mentioned that people's tolerance for pain and uncomfortability is low. If one has not been practicing self-care, such as the example of brushing and flossing, it is easy to build up what appears as protective barriers, only to slowly have these barriers keep out what we need the most….love. Some other examples of non-self-care is excessive screen time, unhealthy usage of drinking alcohol and/or using recreation drugs,, using food as a coping mechanism, etc. These kind of non-self-care behaviors seem like they are protecting you from pain, and may even feel like they are relieving you from stress; however, just like the tarter, it is slowly corroding you from connecting to your higher self where self-love resides. We develop these habits to help us feel better, but in the end, it is disconnecting you from you.

Oof - right? These have become habits, and don’t be fooled, habits can be tricky to break as the mind will offer justification such as, “This is my only vice,” or “I deserve this because I had a rough day,” or other classic justifications like comparing the self to someone who has worse behaviors than your own. With that said, I am not saying, “don’t bother, habits are hard to kick.” Actually, quite the contrary. I am saying, be patient with yourself as you learn to let go of old habits and develop new healthier ones like practicing yoga, being in nature, playing with your children or animals, or being fully present with your love ones,, and of course, being fully present with yourself. Are you going to feel sensitive…uncomfortable…vulnerable with letting go of old habits? Mostly likely, yes. This is why it is so difficult for so many to do this, as we start to feel out of sorts. But just like the tarter that is chipped off the tooth, the tooth learns to calm and settle in to its healthier state. And so will you. I hope you are able to let go of the habits that keep you from self-love, and to welcome in the habits that connect you to your higher self. Don’t give up on yourself. You are so worth loving.